What’s Draining You, And What’s Giving You Energy?
Imagine we’re sat at brunch. You’ve just taken a sip of your flat white and said something like, “I feel like I’m running on empty, but I can’t quite work out why.”
I smile, because I know that feeling all too well.
Here’s the thing: what I’ve learnt is that its not about pushing harder or finding more ‘resilience’. More often, it’s about slowing down for a few minutes to notice what’s quietly sapping your energy and what’s genuinely topping you up.
That’s where one of my favourite ME-time reflection tools comes in: the Drains and Energisers reflection check-in.
Why it works
When life feels overwhelming, our brains tend to lump everything together in one big muddle of too much. But the reality is, some things deplete us and others restore us. Separating the two is a bit like untangling necklaces - once you see the strands clearly, you can slowly see a way through, a way to untangle what sometimes feels like a mess.
How to do it (a reflection, not a to-do list)
Instead of starting from scratch, let’s look back. Think about the last week or two of your life - the ordinary and the not-so-ordinary.
Notice the drains
Which parts of your week left you feeling flat, tense, or heavier than when you started?That online meeting that went round in circles and swallowed an entire afternoon.
Scrolling Instagram late at night, telling yourself “just one more post” and then lying awake.
Family admin that somehow ended up back on your plate (again).
Recall the energisers
Now think about the times you felt a little lighter, brighter, or more like you.A walk in the early evening when the air was cooler and you could finally breathe.
A proper belly laugh with a friend on the phone.
Cooking something simple but delicious, and actually enjoying the process.
Notice the patterns
Step back and hold the two side by side. Over the last week or two, what’s been quietly draining you, and what’s been giving you back your spark?
What to do next
The aim isn’t to cross out every drain (we all still have the laundry and the gas bill). It’s to rebalance the ratio. Could you:
Dial down a drain? Delegate it, set a firmer boundary, shrink its place in your week, or simply find a way to be kinder to yourself through it.
Dial up an energiser? Add a little more of what lifts you, even if it’s just five extra minutes here and there.
Pair them up? Balance one draining task with something uplifting - folding the washing while catching up with a friend who makes everything seem better, for example.
Why it matters
Seeing it written down is a game-changer. Suddenly, life stops feeling like one long blur of exhaustion, and you can spot: Oh, that’s what’s draining me. And that’s what’s keeping me going. Small tweaks add up. Protecting one energiser and softening one drain can genuinely shift the whole feel of your week.
So next time you feel flat, give this a try. Grab a notebook or the back of an envelope, and take five minutes to reflect on the last week or two.
And if you want to make it stick? Tell someone. Share one “drain” and one “energiser” with a friend, in the comments, or even with me. Sometimes just naming it out loud is the first step to feeling more like yourself again.
✨ Because thriving isn’t about doing more. It’s about noticing what helps you feel more you.