Adjusting the Sails: Building Hope and Optimism
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” – William Arthur Ward
I love this quote because it captures something vital: life is full of winds we can’t control. But what we can control is how we respond. And that’s where hope and optimism come in.
Why it matters
Hope and optimism aren’t fluffy add-ons to wellbeing — they’re fuel. They give us the energy to keep going, the belief that tomorrow can be better than today, and the courage to try again when things don’t go to plan.
Without them, setbacks feel final. With them, setbacks become detours — frustrating, yes, but not the end of the road.
Here’s the science bit
Psychologist Martin Seligman studied what he called explanatory styles — the way we explain to ourselves why things happen.
He found that pessimistic explanations often sound like this:
“This will never get better.” (It feels forever/permanent.)
“Everything in my life is a mess.” (It feels like it affects everything.)
“This is all my fault, I’m useless.” (It feels all about me.)
Optimistic explanations, on the other hand, sound more like this:
“This is tough right now, but it won’t last forever.” (It’s for now.)
“This part is hard, but other parts of my life are going okay.” (It’s just this bit.)
“Yes, I played a role, but there were other factors too.” (It’s not all on me.)
Research shows that people who explain challenges in more optimistic ways:
Recover faster from setbacks.
Stay healthier physically and mentally.
Achieve more, because they keep trying.
Feel more satisfied with life overall.
How to start
Here’s a simple way to practise a more optimistic style when challenges crop up:
Catch the thought. Notice what you’re telling yourself. (“I’ll never get this right.” “This ruins everything.”)
Ask three quick questions:
Is this forever/permanent, or could it just be for now?
Does this really affect everything, or just this one part of my life?
Is this really all on me, or are other factors involved?
Shift the story. Rewrite the explanation in a way that’s fairer, kinder, and more balanced.
Try this as a mini-exercise
Think of a recent frustration or setback. Maybe you missed a deadline, argued with your partner, or abandoned a new habit.
Write down your first explanation.
Run it through the three questions above (for now / just this bit / not all on me).
Rewrite it with a more optimistic lens.
Example:
Pessimistic: “I failed at this, I always do, I’m hopeless.”
Optimistic: “That attempt didn’t go well, but it was just one moment. Other things are fine, and I can try a different approach next time.”
Why it’s worth it
Hope and optimism aren’t about pretending everything’s rosy. They’re about adjusting the sails - shifting your perspective just enough to catch the wind and move forward.
Each time you practise reframing how you explain a setback, you’re teaching your brain to expect possibility instead of defeat. And that expectation? That’s what fuels hope.
So, the next time life knocks you sideways, pause. Notice how you’re explaining it to yourself — and see if you can adjust the sails.
✨ Thriving isn’t about waiting for the wind to change. It’s about learning to steer with what you’ve got.